


Four Words

by grimeysociety



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alien Planet, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimeysociety/pseuds/grimeysociety
Summary: Darcy and Steve invite themselves along for a space adventure with Jane.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers
Comments: 40
Kudos: 224
Collections: Fandom For Australia, Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019





	Four Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artemis_Day](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/gifts).



> This was written for Fandom For Australia, raising money for bushfire relief. Thank you again to Artemis Day for bidding on my fic offer. She asked for accidental marriage and Shieldshock, so here it is. Excuse the plot holes or crack you may find, I'm constantly tired and all mistakes are my own. ❤
> 
> This was also written for my Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019 Square E3: Tea Party.

The first thing Jane said was “do not to touch anything” so of course Darcy did immediately start to touch everything when they arrived. It was hard not to, there were so many colors that invaded her senses, it was like she could _hear_ how bright the decorations were.

Darcy grabbed Steve’s wrist in excitement, pointing down the alley the three of them occupied.

“You hear that music, too, right?” she said, glancing up at him, grinning.

“ _That’s_ music?” he said, sounding unimpressed. “Sounds like cats screwing -”

“Do _not_ go wandering off,” Jane cut in, spinning around.

She was carrying the reader that measured oxygen levels, and Darcy knew she could breathe fine so far, lifting her brows at her boss.

“You said we could be guinea pigs, so –”

“I should’ve just come alone,” Jane muttered to herself, smacking the device.

It seemed to have frozen, but from Darcy could recall, the planet they’d managed to travel to via the new generator had all the hallmarks of a liveable planet. The alley had sand on the ground, the buildings resembling the kind Darcy only saw in ads about Mykonos.

“It’s like a Windows background,” she murmured, and Steve frowned slightly.

“Like the computers?”

“What’s your background?” Darcy asked, and he shrugged. “On your phone?”

She knew he didn’t have his own computer. He tended not to use one, ever.

“Nothing really,” he replied, taking out his phone and showing her, and it was how Darcy remembered – the factory default grey background and she shook her head.

“That is depressing.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” he retorted.

She wondered just how long it would take for him to regret following her here, since she was the one to barge into the kitchen, pointing at him not half an hour ago, announcing:

“Four words.”

“Huh?” he said, mouth full with cereal, hair sticking up at the back.

Darcy counted them on her fingers:

“Wanna – come -- to -- space?”

He’d said yes, which Darcy was surprised about since he was always grumbling about the 21st century, never fully involved in it if he could help it, and now he was standing with her in this alley while Jane shook her machine and smacked it back to life.

“I think the test is a success, since we’re not dead yet,” Darcy said. She gave a thumbs-up to no-one in particular.

She finally let go of Steve’s wrist, meeting Jane’s eye.

“You sure we can’t take a look around? We could take some samples or… _souvenirs_ or something,” she went on.

Darcy liked finding the tackiest imaginable keepsakes to horrify Jane with. Her boss was no fool, narrowing her eyes slightly but beginning to smile.

“Five minutes,” Jane said eventually. She looked up at Steve, probably because he seemed the more responsible one.

Darcy was tempted to point out just how chaotic Steve was but decided against it, smirking at him when he nodded at Jane sternly.

“Ten,” Darcy said, and Jane shot her a look.

“Fine,” she snapped. “But try not to get captured and become enslaved, I’d rather not have to come back with other people to rescue you.”

Darcy made a face, reeling back. “What? You could handle whatever’s here, for sure.”

Jane gave a little sigh. “We’ll meet back here in ten.”

Darcy took hold of Steve’s wrist again and dragged him along, toward the sounds she’d noticed earlier. She pushed a violently bright purple tapestry out of the way, ducking out into the street. She stopped dead, glancing to her left.

A crowd of creatures – it had to be some kind of parade – was hurtling down the street toward her. They seemed to be dancing in time to the drum beat and wailing singing, and Darcy had to agree with Steve. The music was unpleasant to her ears, but the revellers were having fun, she supposed. She saw several of them pointing at her with multiple tentacles, hundreds of eyes per civilian – and she knew she stuck out as a human.

She felt someone tug her back and she smacked into Steve, whose arm was wrapped around her middle, holding her close.

“You were about to get run over,” he yelled over the crowd, when she looked up.

“You almost ripped my arm out of its socket,” she yelled back.

There was a squeal and Darcy ducked, turning to see what had almost hit her, and saw Steve’s shirt had been hit with a clod of vibrant pink dirt with glitter accents.

“Hmm,” she said, pressing her lips together.

“It ain’t funny, Lew,” Steve said, but Darcy could see he was trying not to laugh. “Could be poison. And my shirt’s ruined.”

“I think it looks good –”

Darcy was hit on the ear and she yelped, yellow powder in her face. Steve began to laugh, clutching his belly as Darcy spat on the ground and tried to shake some of the colour out of her hair.

It only seemed to be some kind of local gesture that didn’t know about, not something poisonous, as Darcy glanced around to see semi-translucent blobs with tentacles flinging clods of colour and glitter at passers-by. They seemed to be laughing at one another, and some of them were moving against one another and cooing.

“Are they kissing?” Darcy said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand roughly.

“Either that or mating, I can’t tell,” Steve muttered. “Four words.”

Darcy looked over at him, frowning. “What?”

“You – need – a – drink?” he said, counting the words like she had before.

“Yeah, alright.”

They began to walk down the street, watching out for more dirt clods, and Darcy sensed many people were staring now as they weaved through the crowds.

“At what point do we start running?” she said to Steve, who was leading the way with their hands linked, and he turned his head to look her in the eye.

“If it comes to that, I don’t trust you to keep up,” he said.

“Gee, thanks –”

“I mean it,” he said, smirking at her. “I’ll throw you over my shoulder or I’ll leave you in the dust, it’s up to you.”

“I thought you were supposed to be getting me a drink, Steven,” Darcy retorted.

Someone belched close to her face and she shrank back, crowding Steve. They managed to separate from the majority of the inhabitants, and Steve rose a finger to point at the little hole-in-the-wall.

“They got coffee machines outside the Milky Way?” Steve murmured, and Darcy shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

“How are we meant to pay for anything?” Darcy said.

They reached the vendor and Steve rose his hand to wave, the creature copying him slowly with a single tentacle, unsure.

“Mustn’t translate,” Steve muttered, and Darcy snorted. “Uh…”

Darcy motioned drinking and Steve caught her eye, mirroring her.

“Drink?” Darcy said. “Drinky? Glug-glug-glug?”

The creature rolled several hundred eyes and reached for something behind the counter, revealing a little platic cup it put to its middle. It didn’t seem to have a neck, but its vocal cords seemed to be where the cup went.

“ ** _You have to pay for your drinks_** ,” came the robotic voice from the cup.

It seemed to be a type of electronic translator.

“We don’t have any money,” Steve said, shaking his head.

The vendor put the cup to its ear and Steve repeated himself.

“ ** _Then go away, tourists_**.”

“ _Nice_ ,” Steve said, placing both hands on his hips.

**_“This isn’t charity.”_ **

Darcy put out an arm to stop Steve from moving any closer, glaring up at him.

“You wanna start a fight with an eight-foot alien, bud?”

 ** _“You’re the aliens,”_** the vendor retorted.

“We’re leaving, it’s fine,” Darcy said, tugging Steve away.

She glanced up at the sky, shielding her eyes from the three suns that hung above them, fanning herself with her other hand.

“I could use a faucet, something –”

“That guy didn’t have to be such a jackass,” Steve muttered, looking over his shoulder at the vendor that was still watching them closely. He folded his arms.

Darcy looked around, assessing. The other shops they’d passed only seemed to sell garments and food that Darcy knew they couldn’t afford.

“Do you think there’s a town well?” Darcy said. She shook her head a second later, reconsidering. “Probably don’t need dysentery on top of everything else.”

She felt sweaty and gross.

“What about her? I _think_ they’re a ‘her’,” Steve said, pointing across the street.

It was another vendor with a type of dispenser beside them, with little tables surrounding their corner at the end of the street like a pop-up café.

“Maybe try there?”

They dashed across the street and Darcy glanced at the dispenser, unsure of the liquid inside.

“I think it’s tea,” Steve said, studying it like Darcy was.

The vendor was a little smaller than the first one, blinking at them slowly as they hung around. There was a couple sitting at one of the tables, the tea they sipped disappearing into the side of their face, their mouths still indeterminable.

“Two?” Darcy said, and then Steve gestured with two fingers. “Glug, glug?”

The vendor pushed two empty tea cups toward them, and Darcy flashed a grateful smile, as Steve picked up both cups and they moved toward the dispenser.

Darcy watched as he poured them both tea, and to her surprise it wasn’t hot when she put her tea cup to her lips to drink, though it was steaming. It was cooling, tasting vaguely like cucumbers, and she heard a purring sound start up when she and Steve began to sip.

Steve met her gaze and then they both looked over at the vendor, who clapped a couple dozen tentacles together as they purred.

“I… don’t know what that means,” Steve said, and Darcy shrugged.

“Whatever, I’m thirsty.”

They could see the parade making its way down the street in the distance and watched it begin to recede. Darcy drained her cup by the time Jane arrived, hands up.

“ _There_ you are. I said ten minutes,” she said.

“What the hell, you look _incredible_ ,” Darcy blurted, her eyes widening.

She really did. Jane looked like she was glowing all over, her hair tussled like she was in a shampoo commercial. She didn’t seem interested in Darcy’s compliment.

“Yeah, I ate some fruit,” she muttered. “You guys know what you’re drinking, right?”

“Tea, or maybe some kind of tonic,” Darcy murmured.

The vendor appeared and Jane stood back, the three of them watching as a single tentacle came up, daubing Darcy on her forehead with thin blue paint like water, before the tentacle did the same to Steve.

Darcy stayed frozen until the vendor went back behind the dispenser again, her eyes swinging to meet Steve.

“What just happened?”

“I got something before,” spoke up Jane, fishing out another translator cup. “Might be useful.”

“You couldn’t have mentioned it earlier?” Darcy said, as Jane threw it for Steve to catch.

He put the cup to his throat, standing up to speak to the vendor.

“Excuse me, ma’am, what does the paint mean?”

He put the cup to his ear as the vendor began to grunt, Darcy’s eyes darting to Steve and back to the vendor, trying to read it somehow by the expressions on Steve’s face.

His eyes grew wide.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, and Darcy leaned forward, waiting.

He sat back down, folding his arms and glancing over the road.

“Hello?” Darcy said eventually, smacking his arm. “What happened?”

“She said, uh, it’s a love festival,” Steve began.

Darcy heard Jane snort behind her.

“The tea is ceremonial,” Steve added.

“And, what?” Darcy said, their eyes locking finally. “What about it?”

“We just got married,” Steve said, biting his lip at the end.

The dead silence that followed was only broken by Jane clearing her throat. Darcy glanced at her, not sure she could stand the teasing.

“I’ll just…”

She trailed off, moving a few yards away, her head down as she got out her phone. She began to type something and Darcy saw her begin to relax, distracted with work. She looked back at Steve, feeling her cheeks begin to burn.

“Look –”

“I know this isn’t ideal,” Darcy cut in, before he could say any more. “How’d we manage that, anyway?”

“I poured you the tea and we both drank it,” Steve said.

“Right, that makes sense,” Darcy deadpanned.

There was more tense silence that Darcy broke with a soft groan, unable to stop her embarrassment from showing, putting her face in her hands. She felt Steve give her shoulder a squeeze.

“Lew –”

“Oh, God, don’t,” she groaned, shying away from him. “I can’t stand you letting me down easy. I get it, it’s so stupid –”

To her surprise, he began to laugh, and she took her hands away to look at him again.

He leaned closer in his chair, cupping her face.

“I’m trying to tell you I like you,” he said, voice softer.

Darcy felt her stomach flip. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he said, his thumb brushing her cheekbone.

Darcy felt herself smile. “We’re married.”

“Apparently,” Steve said, eyes widening. “So, four words, Lewis.”

“What?” Darcy murmured, her eyes falling to his mouth as he moved closer, his voice dropping.

“Do – you – wanna – date?”

Darcy pressed a kiss to his lips, her hands coming up to hold his face, closing her eyes as he deepened the kiss with a soft sigh. It lasted only a few seconds but Darcy felt dizzy with it, and then Steve was pulling her into his lap to hug her.

As they walked back to the alley, Jane leading the way, Steve’s arm was around Darcy’s shoulders as he said to Jane:

“You _do_ look really good, Jane.”

“Huh?” Jane muttered, distracted. “Oh, thanks, Steve.”

She looked at Darcy, smirking.

“Probably the last thing I thought you’d manage to bring back from space, Darce,” she muttered. “A magnet, sure, but – a _husband’s_ a surprise.”

Jane pointedly glanced away as Darcy took hold of Steve by the shirt and tugged him into another kiss, breaking away when she heard the distinct shutter sound of a phone camera. Steve smiled down at his phone, then showed it to Darcy.

They were his new background, with twin blotches of blue paint still on their foreheads, Steve’s shirt ruined with Darcy’s ear and hair still stained with yellow.

**Author's Note:**

> The real hero is Jane, not bothered by compliments because she's busy working
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


End file.
